Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Chapter 2 "A Crappy Catch"

Kilara flew through the portal with her backpack clenched between her claws. With her wings soaked from the waterfall, she dropped from the sky and morphed back into her Kryptonian form. Once Kilara landed, she instinctively pulled out her gas mask. She was then in an environment so foul smelling, not even an ogre wou¬ld call it home. Kilara found herself in the “Feces-zon Jungle”.
King Kal-El created this jungle many years ago to keep humans and Kryptonians from crossing between worlds freely. The jungle was filled with feces of every creature on Krypton. The plants were immeasurable compared to any other plants known to man. The jungle floor was covered with warm, moist fecal soil, and the air was filled with fumes so poisonous that Humans or Kryptonians would surely die if such a substance was inhaled. Though the plants were vibrant in color, the polluted air made the jungle look ominously murky. It seemed that the Feces-zon was no place for any organism to reside, but many parasites and a select number of Pokémon adapted to life in this area.
As Kilara continued through the Feces-zon she was startled by a noise she heard around a shrub. She crept up quietly to take a look and to her surprise it was a Turtwig, a grass-type turtle Pokémon, playing with a ball of dung. She was struck with awe as she observed such a cute creature. It wasn’t long until Kilara’s presence was detected by the energetic Turtwig. Just as Kilara tried to approach it, the Turtwig darted away in fear. Standing in disappointment, it came to Kilaras mind that she needed some help if she were to save Krypton from its destruction. With this in mind she snapped back into reality. “I’m going to catch that Turtwig no matter how much crap I have to go through…” she stopped herself for a moment, smiled, then said “Crap… Feces-zon… he-he, these fumes must be getting to me!”
With a new goal on her mind, she set off tracking the escaped Turtwig. Through trees and grass she moved on headstrong until she found the Pokémon resting aside the waste water river. “I need to get in closer,” she thought to herself. As Kilara observed her surroundings, she noticed a branch just above the sleeping Turtwig that would give her a strategic position in her catching. It seemed as if all the factors for capturing the Turtwig were in her favor. The only problem was that the tree she needed to climb was a rare tree only found in the Feces-zon, the infamous Dingle Berry Tree. Its fruits were little clumps of poop that would sometimes drop from the hair-like vines above and roll down covering the tree in fecal matter.
Kilara paused for a moment and thought to herself, “It’s just…poo…right? I can always shower. Yeah, take one for the team.” As she repeated this in her mind, she built up the guts to finally climb the tree. Hand over hand she tried pulling herself up slowly but kept slipping from the fecal residue collected on the tree trunk. “Oh wait, duh… I could just fly up there!” she said as she smacked her forehead, leaving a handprint of poo on her gas mask and hair. “EWWY! Could this get any worse?” There was no water around to clean herself, so she decided to forget about her hygiene and deal with it later. Kilara morphed into a bird and flew toward the branch, but got caught in the tree vines that bore the fruit of the tree, leaving Kilara covered in Dingle Berries. Trying not to make too much noise, she rested there with her wings tangled and Dingle Berries hanging all around her. As she hung in the vines for a couple of minutes she realized that there was no clean way of going about this. Kilara fell from the vines as she morphed from a bird to a python. Her long body caught onto a branch and instantaneously wrapped the rest of her body around it. She slithered through the tree until she reached the branch just over the Turtwig.
Sitting upon the branch Kilara morphed back to normal and straddled the branch. Looking around she spotted her bag at the base of the tree, “Ugh! My Pokéballs are in my bag. I’m such a dumb dumb!” Trying to be resourceful she scanned for anything useful around her. The wind blew, knocking Kiara off balance and struggling to stay on the branch. She instinctively grabbed the closest thing to her, which happened to be a Dingle Berry vine. The flailing Kilara grasped the vine in her hand and pulled herself back onto the branch. With the vine in her hand she remembered an old skill her grandfather Kal-El taught her. “Eureka! The most vital tool for catching anything, the Talaya!” she exclaimed. In a matter of minutes she was able to weave a perfect talaya with the Dingle Berry vines.
Sitting upon the branch Kilara gathered the talaya and positioned herself for the throw. As the Turtwig laid on the riverside unaware, Kilara flung the talaya with much precision. The Turtwig jumped up in shock and started to thrash around in the talaya causing it to further tangle itself. Kilara jumped down from the tree and walked toward the Turtwig with her backpack. The closer she got, the harder the tangled Pokémon thrashed about. “Hey boy I’m not here to hurt you. Here have some food,” Kilara said softly as she pulled out food from her bag. The confused and scared Pokémon paused as the smell of food drifted toward him. “You must be really hungry. I have never seen any Pokémon devour a whole bowl of Frittata,” she giggled. As the now satisfied Turtwig relaxed on its side Kilara slowly untangled the talaya, freeing the Pokémon. “Do you know how much trouble I went through to get you? You’re lucky you’re cute,” Kilara said as her newly caught Turtwig rubbed his nose against her cheek. “With you by my side I feel like I can overcome any pile of crap. He-he another poopie joke! Oh my gosh this place is really getting to me, let’s get out of here Turtwig!’

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